I wonder sometimes...

am I surrounded by mostly selfish people? I mean I know we all are selfish, but thats generally to a point. For most people that point ends where there is the possiblity of hurting someone. But as I start to look around I get disgusted at times as some people's selfishness. The lying, the cheating, the minipulation of others. Honestly, it gets me flat out sick sometimes just thinking about things and what some people will do to quell that feeling inside them, what ever it may be.

I've seen first hand way to often what people's selfishness can do to others, and its not a pretty sight. The vast range of emotions people put others through for their own benefit...the anger, deep depression, etc.

I'd like to think of myself as a good, honest, helpful, out going person. But the negitive side to that is when you try to be out going to someone that is selfish....you get walked on. You offer to do a favor for someone, and they take it a step further with out even thinking of asking you if its ok. That leads me to another thing, disrespect, kind of goes with the selfish thing I guess.

But I not confrentational and don't want to limit my out going-ness because of a few rotten apples ... I will not let them defeat me in that manner. But it is hard, especially when one gets stepped on way more often than feeling apprecated. I am truely thankful for those that I feel are true friends to me and if your reading this odds are you are one of them. But far too many times in my life I've felt like a friend of convenence to people ... there when they need or want something, but when they don't, I'm then forgotten like last week's news.

Well gonna end this before I start blabbering all too much...